Don't wait til 2008 - get your ID Card now!

Don't want to pay £100 for a UK ID card?

Worried about being fingerprinted, iris-scannified, biometricated and probipulated by government officials?

Concerned that the Government will sell your personal information to any old foreign government/guy down the pub with a wad of used fifties?

Scared of the fascist state Charles Clarke is trying to impose on us?

Why wait until 2008?

Get your ID Card from the Horny Toad TODAY for FREE!

• No biometric datasfication - you're who you are, aren't you?
• No travelling to an ID centre miles away - it's right here on the web!
• Does everything the Government's card does - even better!
• Fights terrorism
• Cuts benefit fraud
• Prevents identity theft
• No massive £15bn database involved - I'm too busy to spy on your life!
• FREE Magic Golden Bit to help you feel secure

Download your ID card below now - hurry, they're going fast!

How to get your ID and be safe and sound for the rest of your life:

1. Download your card using the link above.
2. Print it out.
3. Fill in your surname and given names. (You can use any colour ink you like - just remember, using green ink and dotting the i's with little circles or smiley faces says more about you than you might prefer others to know. See? I care about your privacy, unlike that rival outfit down in Westminster).
4. Then sign the card.

Congratulations! You have just entered a new world of safety, security and comfort.

Remember to keep your card with you at all times. It protects you against:

terrorism
identity theft
fraud
spots
bird flu
the common cold
bad people - especially dark-skinned ones!
hangovers
immigration
bad luck in love
cancer

In addition, every card downloaded reverses global warming and promotes World Peace. So tell your friends!